Love is a beautiful thing

I am exhausted! I don't know how people manage to work 2 jobs, and have a life! Guess I will find out soon, once I start my second job (which I am certain I will get) :) On Friday following my all-nighter the night before, I went to nap almost as soon as I walked through the door. I woke up at about 7 pm because my sister's friend was coming over to hang out. I was on my computer, setting up this blog and social media accounts for my alter ego the whole time while they hung out talking and watching TV. We ended up watching some GOD AWFUL movie, Zombie Strippers, well they did - I was merely sitting on the computer in the same room. At about 1.30 am, sister's friend left so we finally went to bed.

The next morning my amazing, wonderful boyfriend called me at 9 am, so I had to wake up at about 8.30 am to be able to make coffee and make myself remotely functional to speak to him. My sister made the comment "Wow you must really love him to wake up this early" because my alarm of course woke her, considering I snoozed it about 5 times before finally getting out of bed.

I swear I can't even remember what I did after my phone call. Oh right, two of my friends, Cara and Evgenia were supposed to come over for tea but Evgenia was feeling unwell and had headaches, so only Cara came. Next year Cara and I are planning to go to Europe for the whole of September and visit Eastern Europe, so we talked about that and my upcoming birthday which I would prefer to ignore. I don't have a problem with my age, or getting older, I just feel awkward with having people acknowledge it or like their well wishes are insincere. Also several of my birthdays were surrounded by drama and fights, that when I think of it, I remember feelings of negativity.

Saturday night I spent in bed relaxing, on Twitter and reading my old writing. I want to get back into the hang of it, but the book I was writing was somewhat of a joint project with a girl I was once friends with. I ended up associating my entire book and idea with the self harm and pain that followed the dissipation of that friendship, as well as that period of my life. 

My sister ended up going out to the city for a 21st birthday and I went to pick her up from the station. While waiting I made conversation with the garbage man collecting the restaurant rubbish, cause that's how I roll. Once my sister and I got home, her friend called. Apparently he had missed his last train, so he got on one that was on our train line to go to Central. He was on his phone, clearly not paying attention, he ended up missing Central. This led to my sister offering to drive him home, if he kept going and got to our stop. Of course, being the nice person that I am, I wasn't going to let my younger sister drive on her own at 1.30 am, so at 2 am when he reaches our stop we got him from the station to take him home, 30 minutes away. By the time we got home again it was 3am and I woke up the next morning again at 8.30 am to talk to my boy.

It's amazing how much he can make me smile so early in the morning with so little sleep. And it's amazing that he just gives me the drive to keep going, and motivates me to chase my dreams.
My life has been in somewhat of a continual drum of negativity and boredom, and it was like I was stuck on this never-changing, never-ending road that led to no where. I wanted to change, but at the same time there was nothing I felt motivated me, or gave me the will to really live and fight for what I want. The last few years, I believe I have cried and struggled to stay afloat more than the entire previous decade.

On Sunday it was my Dad's birthday and I also went to get clothes for the interview on Monday that would be appropriate; something with not too much cleavage and not too much leg. I found a skirt and top in Target, but in the meantime managed to leave my sunglasses in the change room, which somebody subsequently stole. 

I ended up having a nap when I got home, and woke up just in time for Dad's family dinner. We went across the road to a Chinese restaurant. It was one we have been to before, but it has pretty amazing food. It was just us and Zo, our family friend. We had a really nice meal, and then went home to have cake. Laura (sis) made tiramisu and Mum made a pyramid cake. After a while, Zo went home and Laura and I decided to watch Gone Girl. We watched like 40 mins and couldn't keep going. What a shit movie. Who would react like Ben Affleck's character did IF their wife had actually disappeared. I found the whole movie way too slow, boring, and unrealistic. Laura was sooo annoyed at wasting time on it that she went to bed in a really bad mood. 

Well that's my quick recount for the weekend

Welcome strangers

Welcome random stranger on the internet who has somehow stumbled upon my blog, I had a blog many, many years ago under a different name, and there I spewed my inner most thoughts into nifty little paragraphs. Thoughts, insecurities, fears, dreams; you name it. All things I would never dare say out loud, or to another person for fear of their reaction or being judged. In a way that was therapeutic for me, so here I am again on this blog, years later, older and hopefully somewhat wiser.

I don't have much to say today other than I am utterly exhausted. Just like every other time in my life thus far, I left things to the last minute. Resulting in a sleepless night, followed by a full work day with copious amounts of caffeine in the form of Red Bull and coffee, to finally crashing in bed at 2am. I woke up this morning though at 8.30am to be able to talk to my bf. Due to the time difference between us this results in me waking up early to receive his calls, and the first thing you need to know about me is I am not a morning person by any means. This is a crucial piece of information as half my mood swings can be solved by a nap.

I am currently sitting in bed waiting for a friend to come over to hang out, and I would much rather be ranting to an anonymous online portal about being tired than socialising with an actual human being. I love my friends and I love hanging out but sometimes, I just want to curl up in or on my bed and do nothing by myself.

In other news, need to call my boss again since she didn't answer the first time around, and tell her I will need to leave work on Monday to attend my secondary job interview for job number 2. I am FUCKING excited. Baby, here I come! I pretty much KNOW that I've got the job. I don't know why I need a second interview, but my experience got me through, considering I was half asleep in interview 1. Regardless, babe, I've got this! I'll be seeing you!

Till next time folks